Saturday, October 31, 2015
in the lagoon
In the Lagoon
She couldn't find the words to describe the night sky.
But this night, tonight, she could see everything, in the vast nothing..
"Incazing"...
Like turning off all the 'everything' around you- drowning out chaos, and all the 'else'
Primal allure... domestication unraveling at the crescent of her pupils..
Exponential in it's vastness, of the space and stars...all that made her matters of 'matter'
mattered now, much more.
and acknowledging a purpose..overcome with joy and something new. A reason to go on.
She could question...and that was a great thing. It was refreshing... and had only up until then,
She now realized her world had only been blanketed, in the shadows of the time.
That had been all along, simply passing her by. Now she watches the freckles along her wrists..lonely no more.
lately it's been a turn signal blinking for miles, only to stay center.
She would no longer be complacent where she sank...trudging in place. Falling to pieces.
To get as high, and watch every sky..
I say you,
you're looking down at a blue lagoon beyond the rocks.
Yet you still stand.
Standing a few stories high.. but Why not take that plunge - face the things that scare you,
Find a balance. And a balance rebuilding.
And that's when she jumped.
And landed in stride.... on "pointe", to her favorite song... Her heart was beating again. And her skin glowed. Her smile was out of this world.... She didn't recognize the a reflection smiling back at her...
Either way, she can now see stars.... and so when you're looking up in the sky, and feeling alone, know she is looking too.
And your messages are whatever words you want them to be in a glitter-full sky. And she will always write back... you just have to look up.
while finding success in the game of your life is for the taking if you take the leap.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
the are nots
I learn-ed today. I learn the "aren't", and those that are.
I found a new perspective. Inherent goodness does not reside in the heart.
Not in mine, and not in yours.
They're far and few that try to make it due. So, when I do, only smoke blows into my chest ache.
I learn-ed today. Those aren't's are not what I pegged dem are's to be.
And the are's I thought are not.
I am jaded, I hurt.
Why aren't we better being at minded being's, and instead so good at being absent minded? Heartless, unless a beneficent.
Disenchanted by my surrounding forever-longer..my grin at grit, has relocated. Located where "thou are's go".
I learn-ed today that a front disguise and masker-aide which goes about gallivanting around is deception, and the only true truth.
I think it is time I need a new skin, because this one I sit in is beginning to itch. It itches to be counted on.
But, I'll be forced to sit this one out "Scout".
I watch the game play from the benches. Clear and cut clean. I lost the score five minutes ago. The are's and aren'ts play. Scout sits.
I want to stop the hurt - I want a voice that does not shake. When opening my mouth, so dry, only whispers and winces as the cracks in my lips, and the salt in my watering eyes mount.
That is all I can count on these days.
That is what I have learned. The pain. The shade. This corner. This vacancy... I know this are. What I am. Aren't I entitled to a clue less vague?
I found a new perspective. Inherent goodness does not reside in the heart.
Not in mine, and not in yours.
They're far and few that try to make it due. So, when I do, only smoke blows into my chest ache.
I learn-ed today. Those aren't's are not what I pegged dem are's to be.
And the are's I thought are not.
I am jaded, I hurt.
Why aren't we better being at minded being's, and instead so good at being absent minded? Heartless, unless a beneficent.
Disenchanted by my surrounding forever-longer..my grin at grit, has relocated. Located where "thou are's go".
I learn-ed today that a front disguise and masker-aide which goes about gallivanting around is deception, and the only true truth.
I think it is time I need a new skin, because this one I sit in is beginning to itch. It itches to be counted on.
But, I'll be forced to sit this one out "Scout".
I watch the game play from the benches. Clear and cut clean. I lost the score five minutes ago. The are's and aren'ts play. Scout sits.
I want to stop the hurt - I want a voice that does not shake. When opening my mouth, so dry, only whispers and winces as the cracks in my lips, and the salt in my watering eyes mount.
That is all I can count on these days.
That is what I have learned. The pain. The shade. This corner. This vacancy... I know this are. What I am. Aren't I entitled to a clue less vague?
Monday, March 26, 2012
In the End...
I wake up to clamoring sounds I remember. While the dark night stirs a lonely silence..
I focus on the noises, or I can't sleep. My toes feel the inches of rising rain...
What I've become, frightens me. I'm not who I parade around as. I am only a shell of where I began.
So, I choose to stay away. Away from the eyes I know. Away from those who could undress this blanket.
Loosing seems to be the only thing I feel. Love something, and I loose more.
Care and I hurt deeper. Try, and I push further. All the while, I'm still right here.
I wish we had a way to start this over. I wish I knew a way to stay away. So that I didn't hurt from the gut, up. My heart aches. My feet sink without pressing. The water is waste deep now.
She said. He said. They said. I said. All broken pieces across the floor. The record plays.
It hits my neck. I wish'd I choke. Not this time. Not the case.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow is now yesterday, and I tread. But my body is so tired.
I hear the door open. I hear children's feet. I hear voices. I hear dogs sleeping. I feel a shutter next to me.
My eyes open suddenly... It's still dark. And the noises go away. Sleep. But I can't.
And I know...the noises...they do.
I focus on the noises, or I can't sleep. My toes feel the inches of rising rain...
What I've become, frightens me. I'm not who I parade around as. I am only a shell of where I began.
So, I choose to stay away. Away from the eyes I know. Away from those who could undress this blanket.
Loosing seems to be the only thing I feel. Love something, and I loose more.
Care and I hurt deeper. Try, and I push further. All the while, I'm still right here.
I wish we had a way to start this over. I wish I knew a way to stay away. So that I didn't hurt from the gut, up. My heart aches. My feet sink without pressing. The water is waste deep now.
She said. He said. They said. I said. All broken pieces across the floor. The record plays.
It hits my neck. I wish'd I choke. Not this time. Not the case.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow is now yesterday, and I tread. But my body is so tired.
I hear the door open. I hear children's feet. I hear voices. I hear dogs sleeping. I feel a shutter next to me.
My eyes open suddenly... It's still dark. And the noises go away. Sleep. But I can't.
And I know...the noises...they do.
Monday, November 7, 2011
New work, and old- flipping like a politician
My Starry night
In Lovers arms
Where do we go from here?.......
I'm a Picasso!
Earth
Moons of Jupiter
"the Cafe" - Van Goh (not finished)
Eyes shut open
journey
Her
Explosion of Stars and chaos
So I am here to ponder
House
blossom
We were just kids
St. Louis
Glass half full
the Road
Saturday, April 16, 2011
cyclone"Dusk of the Colosseum"
"paris is calling"
"And you didn't think I "knew Jack"
"Under the Starlights"
"water hole"
"Amsterdam memory"Sunday, April 3, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
well... Its been a little over three months now. Living in a converted motel 6- studio apartment. I have to pull my bed "out " at night.. and to be frank, I don't even bother- if I do, it just takes up my "living space".... so i've made fort on the couch. I've actually cut bathroom time in rations, only so that I can go into another "room" more frequently. There's no love machine here in Summerview. Only the occasional snore from next door can be heard..(walls are paper thin...which worries ma little, because there was an awful lot of crying coming from this apartment..but, hey I'm sure they weren't listening.. )..oh, and i hear the train every hour..
There is pain in my heart. And gloss over my eyes. But you know what they say whatever hurts, makes you stronger. So I'm getting there. I miss things before. The family i had. The chances I had to do things the right way.
There is pain in my heart. And gloss over my eyes. But you know what they say whatever hurts, makes you stronger. So I'm getting there. I miss things before. The family i had. The chances I had to do things the right way.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Linden Tree
It hurts to let someone in. It hurts to let them see the very center of "you". But for all the hurt I tried to avoid..in the end it found me. It found me. I was weak, scared, and immature.. and played with emotions like a child. That hiding behind a glass wall would protect me? In the summer I danced and pranced around like it was any ordinary day. Hiding in the shade of the tree I climbed. The truth now, is that I know not a single day was ordinary.. Not one.
Everyday was exceptional. Exponentially better then the day before. That all the while looking at her eyes looking back at me, it made my heart swell. And my life sparkle. I had it. Right in my hands I had it. In my heart, I had it. In my mind, I had it. My love, I had it. But why when I had it, did I know not how to show it? I shared my talents. I shared my stories. I shared my shoulders. I shared my humor. I shared everything with everyone... that but the only one.
Though it seems the last leaf has fallen from my sweet sweet linden tree.... I hope that a spring will blossom your love anew.. for that is my hope, and my heart that wishes.
I love you.
Everyday was exceptional. Exponentially better then the day before. That all the while looking at her eyes looking back at me, it made my heart swell. And my life sparkle. I had it. Right in my hands I had it. In my heart, I had it. In my mind, I had it. My love, I had it. But why when I had it, did I know not how to show it? I shared my talents. I shared my stories. I shared my shoulders. I shared my humor. I shared everything with everyone... that but the only one.
Though it seems the last leaf has fallen from my sweet sweet linden tree.... I hope that a spring will blossom your love anew.. for that is my hope, and my heart that wishes.
I love you.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
It's been a trying few weeks. Its hard to really put my finger on when the world tipped over, flipped over, and fell right side back again.. I suppose, it's just another chapter.
We all wait for the right moment. The chance to take life by the reigns, and steer.
What you can't do, what you should avoid doing...Is placing all your eggs into one basket; the repercussion when things don't fall into place, can be excruciatingly brutal.
I felt like a gimmick. Like some sort of stunt celebrities use to enhance their public image. I'd like to think it was all unintentional, and simply a misunderstanding.. it would help me sleep if I did. Truth is, I really feel hosed. I feel naive.
The days leading up to the festival, were exciting. A sense of hope and anticipation grew with every inch closer to Sunday. I got there thinking this was "it". Seconds away from getting another boosted chance to improve my education, and future. This time though, in hindsight, proved to make no difference.
I was told that this person wanted to help my situation. They wanted to do something for me, that they could to to make a difference. And that it wouldn't be of any inconvenience. My time, and labor was at no cost to them. Essentially I was their assistant.
"get 'em some water if you would"
"keep an eye on my boy if you would"
"find me a marker to sign these would you?"
"Can you take our picture with ...would you?"
"oh, boy..the flamingos are loose..hold the wallaby if you would."
But who was I really? Just some sidekick without a story... and what a pity it is that this little guy has got some horrible disease.
"bless his heart...what a nice young man..."
"well, how nice it is you can spend your day here..being a little assistant!"
I don't need to be in someone's spotlight. I want my own. And quite honestly, I feel like I should. I know I can do it just as good, if not leaps and bounds better.
This whole relationship has been some kind of charade..and well It's damaging to the psyche.
My dream is to be someone. Someone that can make a real difference in everyones life from here to Kalamazoo.. To be a real inspiration, and a friendly face for those in need. A real somebody.
There are very few genuine people out there.. People that don't have an anterior motive. And even harder to see the true colors in an individual, that exuberance great humility inside and out. I wish I could be one of the few. Its impossible for me to say that though. I am an envious person. I envy the thought of greatness and attention. With that said, I want that for good reasons too. I want to keep my word. I want my promises and ambition to be undeniably genuine, and sincere. The chance to have that power, and the stage to stand up and advocate, and follow through with my words, and heart would allow me to feel accomplished. Because with all honesty, until I find that platform, I feel like an underachiever.
If you're going to promise, you need to make good on it. There is someone out there who's counting on you...and I don't want anyone to feel disappointment , and let down.. Because it's a sad thing when disappointment and let down are no longer shocking...
We all wait for the right moment. The chance to take life by the reigns, and steer.
What you can't do, what you should avoid doing...Is placing all your eggs into one basket; the repercussion when things don't fall into place, can be excruciatingly brutal.
I felt like a gimmick. Like some sort of stunt celebrities use to enhance their public image. I'd like to think it was all unintentional, and simply a misunderstanding.. it would help me sleep if I did. Truth is, I really feel hosed. I feel naive.
The days leading up to the festival, were exciting. A sense of hope and anticipation grew with every inch closer to Sunday. I got there thinking this was "it". Seconds away from getting another boosted chance to improve my education, and future. This time though, in hindsight, proved to make no difference.
I was told that this person wanted to help my situation. They wanted to do something for me, that they could to to make a difference. And that it wouldn't be of any inconvenience. My time, and labor was at no cost to them. Essentially I was their assistant.
"get 'em some water if you would"
"keep an eye on my boy if you would"
"find me a marker to sign these would you?"
"Can you take our picture with ...would you?"
"oh, boy..the flamingos are loose..hold the wallaby if you would."
But who was I really? Just some sidekick without a story... and what a pity it is that this little guy has got some horrible disease.
"bless his heart...what a nice young man..."
"well, how nice it is you can spend your day here..being a little assistant!"
I don't need to be in someone's spotlight. I want my own. And quite honestly, I feel like I should. I know I can do it just as good, if not leaps and bounds better.
This whole relationship has been some kind of charade..and well It's damaging to the psyche.
My dream is to be someone. Someone that can make a real difference in everyones life from here to Kalamazoo.. To be a real inspiration, and a friendly face for those in need. A real somebody.
There are very few genuine people out there.. People that don't have an anterior motive. And even harder to see the true colors in an individual, that exuberance great humility inside and out. I wish I could be one of the few. Its impossible for me to say that though. I am an envious person. I envy the thought of greatness and attention. With that said, I want that for good reasons too. I want to keep my word. I want my promises and ambition to be undeniably genuine, and sincere. The chance to have that power, and the stage to stand up and advocate, and follow through with my words, and heart would allow me to feel accomplished. Because with all honesty, until I find that platform, I feel like an underachiever.
If you're going to promise, you need to make good on it. There is someone out there who's counting on you...and I don't want anyone to feel disappointment , and let down.. Because it's a sad thing when disappointment and let down are no longer shocking...
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The very first day of summer camp... If you've ever been there, you'd understand what I'm talking about when I say there is something very familiar about the air, the cabins, the dining hall.. even the other kids and counselors had a distinct smell. It just sorta tied everything together. A "mil dewey, old clothes, cedar, franks and beans" seeping aroma..
The drive that Saturday morning always seemed to take an eternity. And when we finally met the gravel driveway...my body couldn't stand it any longer. I was psyched! (I'm pretty sure my parents...shoot more like the majority of all the other parents dropping off their own kids were even more excited about the long week!) I wanted to jump out of my seat.
So when we got there, we all reported to the dining hall to check in.. We had our medicines, our belongings, and about an hour of registering. Chuck ..Chuck, eh.. well this guy Chuck. I always tried hiding away when he showed up. It was a lost cause though. And when he saw us, he would run over and yell "hey there's my peanut!".. grab my cheek and stretch the loose skin..."So Peanut how was your summer so far?!"
Peanut? really?... I hate "peanut".. "zach attack".. "spider monkey".."the runt".. "Bum" what ever endearing words these crazy adults wanted to go with..but hey, here's an idea : how about you just call me ZACH.. I was a little of the entertainment.
When our parents left, we were pretty much free for a couple hours to mingle and meet with your cabin buddies. It was consistent each year. Jesse, DeAaron, CJ, Kevin...to name a few.
And immediately, our cabin was ready to discuss the weeks most pressing matter:
"The big talent Show".. a lip sinking contest to be preformed Tuesday, and if you well represented your cabin, and killed it like Mily Vanily..well, then again you'd preform for cash, and prizes Thursday in the Finals Showdown!
If you hadn't guessed about me yet.. I am a ham in front the camera, lights, large gatherings.. So now I get the chance to dress in rock outfits of the 80's and bust out some oldies or new jams. well I was in heaven!
I'll roll out the top 3 in no particular order.
1) Beach Boys "Barbara Ann"... I nailed it with a combination of Twist and Chubby Checkers meets ridiculous..
2) I preformed the Ninja Turtles Song - Go Ninja. I was raphael, and I believe we had the best costume and set design.. we ranked Second.
3) "Smoking in the Boys room" by Poison.... seemed a little inappropriate singing about the joys of smoking in the public restrooms, seeing as how we were all living with chronic, often terminal lung disease... But hey we rocked that out without batting an eye..were were kinda like the badest 9 year old bad asses that CF camp ever did witness. And we won 1st place!
We felt like royalty the next day and a half.. Like rock legends..and then we get caught. Yeah, so the panty raid we thought had been executed to perfection the evening prior, well...turned out our "covert opt" ability was comparable to holes in swiss cheese.
Table setting ,and Clearing was our job for dinner..
They had polar bear swims every morning that week too. And you know, I really tried! I really did! I would wake up, and head to the pool ready to go.
The drive that Saturday morning always seemed to take an eternity. And when we finally met the gravel driveway...my body couldn't stand it any longer. I was psyched! (I'm pretty sure my parents...shoot more like the majority of all the other parents dropping off their own kids were even more excited about the long week!) I wanted to jump out of my seat.
So when we got there, we all reported to the dining hall to check in.. We had our medicines, our belongings, and about an hour of registering. Chuck ..Chuck, eh.. well this guy Chuck. I always tried hiding away when he showed up. It was a lost cause though. And when he saw us, he would run over and yell "hey there's my peanut!".. grab my cheek and stretch the loose skin..."So Peanut how was your summer so far?!"
Peanut? really?... I hate "peanut".. "zach attack".. "spider monkey".."the runt".. "Bum" what ever endearing words these crazy adults wanted to go with..but hey, here's an idea : how about you just call me ZACH.. I was a little of the entertainment.
When our parents left, we were pretty much free for a couple hours to mingle and meet with your cabin buddies. It was consistent each year. Jesse, DeAaron, CJ, Kevin...to name a few.
And immediately, our cabin was ready to discuss the weeks most pressing matter:
"The big talent Show".. a lip sinking contest to be preformed Tuesday, and if you well represented your cabin, and killed it like Mily Vanily..well, then again you'd preform for cash, and prizes Thursday in the Finals Showdown!
If you hadn't guessed about me yet.. I am a ham in front the camera, lights, large gatherings.. So now I get the chance to dress in rock outfits of the 80's and bust out some oldies or new jams. well I was in heaven!
I'll roll out the top 3 in no particular order.
1) Beach Boys "Barbara Ann"... I nailed it with a combination of Twist and Chubby Checkers meets ridiculous..
2) I preformed the Ninja Turtles Song - Go Ninja. I was raphael, and I believe we had the best costume and set design.. we ranked Second.
3) "Smoking in the Boys room" by Poison.... seemed a little inappropriate singing about the joys of smoking in the public restrooms, seeing as how we were all living with chronic, often terminal lung disease... But hey we rocked that out without batting an eye..were were kinda like the badest 9 year old bad asses that CF camp ever did witness. And we won 1st place!
We felt like royalty the next day and a half.. Like rock legends..and then we get caught. Yeah, so the panty raid we thought had been executed to perfection the evening prior, well...turned out our "covert opt" ability was comparable to holes in swiss cheese.
Table setting ,and Clearing was our job for dinner..
They had polar bear swims every morning that week too. And you know, I really tried! I really did! I would wake up, and head to the pool ready to go.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
j5
There are so many well deserving men and women out there.. deserving to be recognized for all they give and put out each and every day. I know a few people like that. J5. This core group of nurses, aides, clerks, DR's, and patients change you. They alter your priorities and clear up the soot in the air we breathe and wash away the cataracks , and distorted perspective... an artificial soul can not put on a show here. It's no act. Its genuine. It's the legitimacy, and sincerity of each person on that floor whoose heart beats stronger, and with more passion and dedication then imagination could even conjure...and it comes together.
They come together. They are solid rocks for each other. A team. With one goal.... Make this place smile through pain. Find a place for laughter through our heartbreaks and tears... and hold tight to all the loving memories ... hold those higher over grief.
So I'm thinking of all you guys do downtown, and I'm feeling privledged to have been a part of the magic you bring to the floor. And how truly amazed at how many of you can leave life outside (troubles at home, or whatever..) you leave that at the door.. and ride that "elevator" up up up to the fifth floor..
I miss you guys.
Make someone who needs a smile, give them a laugh for me... and if someone needs a hug, give them the most you can put into that hug... tape "hug" to there back if need be.
Never forget what you guys are doing there.. Its unbelievable. YOU are AMAZING... all of you.
They come together. They are solid rocks for each other. A team. With one goal.... Make this place smile through pain. Find a place for laughter through our heartbreaks and tears... and hold tight to all the loving memories ... hold those higher over grief.
So I'm thinking of all you guys do downtown, and I'm feeling privledged to have been a part of the magic you bring to the floor. And how truly amazed at how many of you can leave life outside (troubles at home, or whatever..) you leave that at the door.. and ride that "elevator" up up up to the fifth floor..
I miss you guys.
Make someone who needs a smile, give them a laugh for me... and if someone needs a hug, give them the most you can put into that hug... tape "hug" to there back if need be.
Never forget what you guys are doing there.. Its unbelievable. YOU are AMAZING... all of you.
I hate that awkward silence in a public restroom. Like what is correct public bathroom etiquette? you know, Like stall to stall? Can you bring up simple conversation?
aside from a "hows it going" or "damn it's hot outside.."
but what about
"geez, had to get away before the wife had me try on another pair of pants....you know, pants? .. have you tried on any of the slacks they had in the weekend paper? ..I'm a 32, but I have trouble fitting into 32 here, so my wife and I are looking for 33...see if that works better, you know?"..
or
"hey....those look like some comfortable new shoes?... Where did you get them at, if you don't mind me asking. I could really use a pair like that..hmmm (examining shoes while grunting , and deep breaths) ..Yep , I like 'em... How much?"
aside from a "hows it going" or "damn it's hot outside.."
but what about
"geez, had to get away before the wife had me try on another pair of pants....you know, pants? .. have you tried on any of the slacks they had in the weekend paper? ..I'm a 32, but I have trouble fitting into 32 here, so my wife and I are looking for 33...see if that works better, you know?"..
or
"hey....those look like some comfortable new shoes?... Where did you get them at, if you don't mind me asking. I could really use a pair like that..hmmm (examining shoes while grunting , and deep breaths) ..Yep , I like 'em... How much?"
Monday, July 26, 2010
gibberish
I don't want to waste it. I've spent my whole adult life doing - not doing much with dreams and aspirations. So when I was asked if I was interested in taking the plunge.. It took every inch of me to "not do" what I have grown accustomed to. Routine, and consistency are my MA. I'd like to change that. Make a bigger splash.. flail a little. Take a calculated risk, with out any regret. YOu know what you want, you go get it. Thats where I've been silly to just graze like a cow in the pasture... I'm full.
About ten years ago I took a leap. I decided to move out and be an "adult". I have grown backwards since. Not all for the worst, but nonetheless..
What really chaps my ass, is how I never was able to see that guy then.. trust me if it were possible.. well, I feel like punching him in the face! At least give him some advice- that I'd take. Because I did it, but I did it half ass and without passion.
That first year before moving back home, and back out, and back home, and back out again... that first year was like living in a sitcom. Odd neighbors. Roommate stories that are never retold, or rehashed. Girls that we thought to have a chance with. Beer. Parties. Summer heat. And nothing better to do. So we do it "again tomorrow".
The year was going fairly well until I got caught driving home from BG by a Marion State'y... And its those little life choices that stick to you forever like matted hair on a poodle. Just about impossible to remove without shaving it all off. Fresh start.
So I call the only person I thought I could depend on - or at least who I thought would judge me the least. And when I got home, my life as I knew it had now gotten away from me, and I've been chasing it down since!
I killed my roommate in the process. Not literally though. Just the friendship part. Trust me, if he was taken out it'll be in the hands of his wife nowadays.. not me.
So when the weekend simmers down a little ad life picks back up, and legal penalty is now but only a laughing stock and lost pride in my rearview mirror..I walk to work the long way... I'm so worried about looking stupid that I decide its not worth taking the COTA to work in the event i get on the wrong one or something.. Plus its 5 bucks for the day pass, and I have exactly $2.33 in my pocket to last me all of March. Thats one trip. One way. So I walked. ..and on occasion I would lobby for my 'mate to drop me off in the back of the restaurant at 4am- and thats where i would wait until 830... Since we had snow and freezing temps around that time, I would go into this laundry mat next door and wait. But after day or two of that..i was asked not to loiter.
So my other option was none really...But there was this Ice Box out side the padlocked doors.. and I fit in quite cozy. And at 830, Donna would hit the sides with a spatula and hollering voice.. Frau.
From that job... I became zero insured ... that was challenging. There is always some girl to blame..so here's two. I had a crush on a girl at work. I was in love with a friend who slept with all my friends.. and then right under my nose, there was no job either.
I shared a phone with the neighbors. I watched Sienfield in increments ..I'd hold the antenna for ten minutes, and we would rotate back to the couch. We had a system for shopping too. His mother would buy groceries, and he would ask for things he didn't really like...and I would help him get rid of the stuff he didn't want:) Open door policy. And waking up before noon were grounds for dismissal . My 'mate loved it. So much so he rather work all day and night then come home to my ridiculous behavior...
Okay so this blog is really not very detailed, and more importantly without any direction. Its simple. I'm hanging out tonight thinking ....wasting my breath i guess. But as mentioned at the beginning... I waste a lot of breath, so at least this is a bit more productive.
The whole no insurance thing ..yeah that was real too. Nothing for 3 1/2 years.. "classified CF as a childhood illness" even though CF'ers are aging way beyond 12 years old these days.. So state cut back, and eliminated it. We were able to restore it with a very courageous outfit of supporters, and testimonials. I read and spoke my piece to the senate, and representatives...and with a team united we were ultimately able to restore SOME funding, and a semi-adult with CF program. That lasted a few years...and then the economy we know today, has left a residual effect on all state funded programs.. And we are going backwards once more.. So thats a little of that. I could go on with more rants ..and I do plan on it. But this was only a foot in the water to test the fingers here on my keypad...
I'll be back
About ten years ago I took a leap. I decided to move out and be an "adult". I have grown backwards since. Not all for the worst, but nonetheless..
What really chaps my ass, is how I never was able to see that guy then.. trust me if it were possible.. well, I feel like punching him in the face! At least give him some advice- that I'd take. Because I did it, but I did it half ass and without passion.
That first year before moving back home, and back out, and back home, and back out again... that first year was like living in a sitcom. Odd neighbors. Roommate stories that are never retold, or rehashed. Girls that we thought to have a chance with. Beer. Parties. Summer heat. And nothing better to do. So we do it "again tomorrow".
The year was going fairly well until I got caught driving home from BG by a Marion State'y... And its those little life choices that stick to you forever like matted hair on a poodle. Just about impossible to remove without shaving it all off. Fresh start.
So I call the only person I thought I could depend on - or at least who I thought would judge me the least. And when I got home, my life as I knew it had now gotten away from me, and I've been chasing it down since!
I killed my roommate in the process. Not literally though. Just the friendship part. Trust me, if he was taken out it'll be in the hands of his wife nowadays.. not me.
So when the weekend simmers down a little ad life picks back up, and legal penalty is now but only a laughing stock and lost pride in my rearview mirror..I walk to work the long way... I'm so worried about looking stupid that I decide its not worth taking the COTA to work in the event i get on the wrong one or something.. Plus its 5 bucks for the day pass, and I have exactly $2.33 in my pocket to last me all of March. Thats one trip. One way. So I walked. ..and on occasion I would lobby for my 'mate to drop me off in the back of the restaurant at 4am- and thats where i would wait until 830... Since we had snow and freezing temps around that time, I would go into this laundry mat next door and wait. But after day or two of that..i was asked not to loiter.
So my other option was none really...But there was this Ice Box out side the padlocked doors.. and I fit in quite cozy. And at 830, Donna would hit the sides with a spatula and hollering voice.. Frau.
From that job... I became zero insured ... that was challenging. There is always some girl to blame..so here's two. I had a crush on a girl at work. I was in love with a friend who slept with all my friends.. and then right under my nose, there was no job either.
I shared a phone with the neighbors. I watched Sienfield in increments ..I'd hold the antenna for ten minutes, and we would rotate back to the couch. We had a system for shopping too. His mother would buy groceries, and he would ask for things he didn't really like...and I would help him get rid of the stuff he didn't want:) Open door policy. And waking up before noon were grounds for dismissal . My 'mate loved it. So much so he rather work all day and night then come home to my ridiculous behavior...
Okay so this blog is really not very detailed, and more importantly without any direction. Its simple. I'm hanging out tonight thinking ....wasting my breath i guess. But as mentioned at the beginning... I waste a lot of breath, so at least this is a bit more productive.
The whole no insurance thing ..yeah that was real too. Nothing for 3 1/2 years.. "classified CF as a childhood illness" even though CF'ers are aging way beyond 12 years old these days.. So state cut back, and eliminated it. We were able to restore it with a very courageous outfit of supporters, and testimonials. I read and spoke my piece to the senate, and representatives...and with a team united we were ultimately able to restore SOME funding, and a semi-adult with CF program. That lasted a few years...and then the economy we know today, has left a residual effect on all state funded programs.. And we are going backwards once more.. So thats a little of that. I could go on with more rants ..and I do plan on it. But this was only a foot in the water to test the fingers here on my keypad...
I'll be back
Sunday, July 25, 2010
She had quoted angels before. She has felt their presence 3 times. And after each, goosebumps and the hairs on my neck stand straight... "lovely she said".
It was in the window sill, while her grandfather cleaned up his work shop..His shotgun boomed. Gunpowder infiltrating the nostrils. And the gun smoke rolled in like a fog.. the air was heavy like morning dew.
In the flash ..time stopping and starting all over simultaneously, her body fell limp.. creeping into the crevice of her chest, cold. Her flesh numb...
She was 4years old. This moment. This instance. It delivered her under the protection from a friend, or guardian... Her grandfather did his best to cover the terror in his voice.. To lesson the hurt. Minimize the shock. Lights dangling above the wood shop. Freckled with dark red splatter..
And yet, while laying on her side gasping for air, and struggling to make sense of the ringing echoing in her ears... Oddly, she felt safe. She felt the presence of her Angel. An angel had shoved her only an inch, but that inch would have hit her heart, and lungs. The push saved her from never being upright, and rather gave her the chance to know.. and to know how to walk right side down, and her head up high. A lesson in humility, and perseverance...
No matter how you choose to skin it.. the story never faded, nor did it grow..it simply was - white feathered wings held her.... The fields of brown golden cat tails chased one another in a gust freely along a vacant lot. Her eyes locked in on faces running across the acres like recess ringing it's bell... And then her day melted to night, while the night prepared a greeting to sunrise... Luminance of a blue moon.. saying good night moon. When the heat lifted, and evening lows and louds' nestled into the horizon, and again Daylight loads of fluff rose from the East.
She was changed. And she was going to go on to create. The art of writing. The creativity of rhythm and song. A poetic carousel... And there was going to be a long line. She had a following. And she had a purse full of positivity... and colored pens.
His gun sound loaded. Her adrenaline pumping. Shots rung out into dance..
And the type writer dinged, and clacked and clucked ...and reeled.
The emperor was pleased, and pleased so, he placed the writings she wrote..fit for a special place in his palace...
It was in the window sill, while her grandfather cleaned up his work shop..His shotgun boomed. Gunpowder infiltrating the nostrils. And the gun smoke rolled in like a fog.. the air was heavy like morning dew.
In the flash ..time stopping and starting all over simultaneously, her body fell limp.. creeping into the crevice of her chest, cold. Her flesh numb...
She was 4years old. This moment. This instance. It delivered her under the protection from a friend, or guardian... Her grandfather did his best to cover the terror in his voice.. To lesson the hurt. Minimize the shock. Lights dangling above the wood shop. Freckled with dark red splatter..
And yet, while laying on her side gasping for air, and struggling to make sense of the ringing echoing in her ears... Oddly, she felt safe. She felt the presence of her Angel. An angel had shoved her only an inch, but that inch would have hit her heart, and lungs. The push saved her from never being upright, and rather gave her the chance to know.. and to know how to walk right side down, and her head up high. A lesson in humility, and perseverance...
No matter how you choose to skin it.. the story never faded, nor did it grow..it simply was - white feathered wings held her.... The fields of brown golden cat tails chased one another in a gust freely along a vacant lot. Her eyes locked in on faces running across the acres like recess ringing it's bell... And then her day melted to night, while the night prepared a greeting to sunrise... Luminance of a blue moon.. saying good night moon. When the heat lifted, and evening lows and louds' nestled into the horizon, and again Daylight loads of fluff rose from the East.
She was changed. And she was going to go on to create. The art of writing. The creativity of rhythm and song. A poetic carousel... And there was going to be a long line. She had a following. And she had a purse full of positivity... and colored pens.
His gun sound loaded. Her adrenaline pumping. Shots rung out into dance..
And the type writer dinged, and clacked and clucked ...and reeled.
The emperor was pleased, and pleased so, he placed the writings she wrote..fit for a special place in his palace...
Sunday, July 4, 2010
grandpa
This head of mine is running everywhere this weekend! I'm up, and then I'm down. And then right back up again. I had this really rough evening on Friday. I began thinking of the past, and all the awesome memories I had with my grandfather. My grandpa. I was thinking how we used to go fishing...and how I hated the fishing part, but loved spending the afternoon with him. I remember the drive every summer to CF camp. The gravel road that seemed to go forever. And his impatience grew as long. Going to Odd Lots because he loves a good deal. A good deal for him can be the topic of discussion anytime of day, meal, or sitting. His generosity to me. He is not a saint, and I know that..But for me he is who I talk to. He is the most important person I have in my life. He continues to amaze me with all he knows. His independence in its own is fantastic. The man drives everywhere. He fixes anything. And he tells a story- which I'll be honest, would hold ZERO of my attention if it weren't for his enthusiasm and sparkling blue eyes. When he speaks to me, he speaks with the utmost respect for me. It was Wednesday afternoon that he picked me up from the hospital- I felt horrible even having him driving all the way to children's to pick me up, but he insisted...Well, he has lost a second tooth. His skin seems to have grayed in the past few months. A contrast from his reddish skin tone I was always familiar with. I became worried. This is the first time in my life, I felt like he is getting older. It hurts a lot. I would be devastated without him. I don't know if he knows the impact he has on me.. The absolute admiration, and unconditional love I have for this man. My grandpa is my dad. He has been there from my most vulnerable state, to now. And he never changes... He has remained a steady rock of emotional support and trust for me.
Best trip I ever went on? A Washington D.C. trip to see my uncle and aunt. We drove there, and stopped along to way to see forts, and battlefields. I was sporting the Hanson long haired hippie look and a bowling shit..and looked like street trash.. We saw the Mars rock, Aretha Franklin singing outside the Mall. We rode the subway, and the train. Best times ever ....
Best trip I ever went on? A Washington D.C. trip to see my uncle and aunt. We drove there, and stopped along to way to see forts, and battlefields. I was sporting the Hanson long haired hippie look and a bowling shit..and looked like street trash.. We saw the Mars rock, Aretha Franklin singing outside the Mall. We rode the subway, and the train. Best times ever ....
Sunday, June 27, 2010
there was a man, who yet was a boy
this man confused for child..though he no longer played with toys
Everything he did, everyone he knew, clapped at his laughter, and cried at his song.
march a full circle, round and round and right back he begins.
Not chiseled, not tall. Not large nor small,
sincere eyes of blue..
tired of being seen as a catch twenty two..
That fire, the part of man that drives to dream
it glows.. dance a dance of passion and gleam
the man wants what others have. He wants for what friends have not.
To have some, and to give, and represent for all.
his shoulders are strong.
The man's smile the future, and his backpack lesson
when there's a stumble, he braces to pickup, dust off his knees,
no matter how damp, and to endure the coolest breeze.
I'll speak for this man, I'll veer up from this slouch..
contagious as his flame,this heart this revival,
a spark to flicker, a gentle shove for kindling, point out the stage.
I pronounce a change,
and I'll face the steady climb. Though my onlookers how patient you have "be", your support, for me you gave.
This man will be proud, I'll honor his name.
Be quick now I say,
today point out that stage
Character is hard to find.
this man confused for child..though he no longer played with toys
Everything he did, everyone he knew, clapped at his laughter, and cried at his song.
march a full circle, round and round and right back he begins.
Not chiseled, not tall. Not large nor small,
sincere eyes of blue..
tired of being seen as a catch twenty two..
That fire, the part of man that drives to dream
it glows.. dance a dance of passion and gleam
the man wants what others have. He wants for what friends have not.
To have some, and to give, and represent for all.
his shoulders are strong.
The man's smile the future, and his backpack lesson
when there's a stumble, he braces to pickup, dust off his knees,
no matter how damp, and to endure the coolest breeze.
I'll speak for this man, I'll veer up from this slouch..
contagious as his flame,this heart this revival,
a spark to flicker, a gentle shove for kindling, point out the stage.
I pronounce a change,
and I'll face the steady climb. Though my onlookers how patient you have "be", your support, for me you gave.
This man will be proud, I'll honor his name.
Be quick now I say,
today point out that stage
Character is hard to find.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
wetlands
Clinging to hope, stretching for life..
sound of silence.. but on a loud-ly course.
Dark ooze thwarting the strays of light
Reeds no longer dancers in the wind,
instead a base of rusted wire... a place where day has left, and night no longer imagines.
Song of the wetlands mute.
Hum of the insects, vacant.
a million homes unraveled..
Ejected, falling apart..
Life here to tears,
While a spill, away they have turned,
hoping resolve,
it is nowhere near. Urgency not in vocabulary...
Those who play, play this playground, has lost its face.
Lost its smiling slide.. Lost her name.
Bullied, a fast begins
What is the plan? we go from here
sound of silence.. but on a loud-ly course.
Dark ooze thwarting the strays of light
Reeds no longer dancers in the wind,
instead a base of rusted wire... a place where day has left, and night no longer imagines.
Song of the wetlands mute.
Hum of the insects, vacant.
a million homes unraveled..
Ejected, falling apart..
Life here to tears,
While a spill, away they have turned,
hoping resolve,
it is nowhere near. Urgency not in vocabulary...
Those who play, play this playground, has lost its face.
Lost its smiling slide.. Lost her name.
Bullied, a fast begins
What is the plan? we go from here
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
vent
what does it take to get there? Accomplished.
I don't think I've tried hard enough. I don't think I have accomplished one thing. I've started a whole hell of a lot, and sometimes I get lucky everyone just so happens to forget where I left off. But in the grand scheme of it...I haven't finished a damn thing.
"when you want it so bad.... Put forth the effort, start with an inch."
Advice I have not applied myself towards.
It's great to see so many people i've known grow. It's comforting to see them do well. Makes me feel like that its' out there for us. For me. For who tries.
I give a damn. Thats the difference between. I truly give a damn. I have that at least. Knowing that, it does something for me...
Now I need to layout some ground for what I it is. With Questions and Answers....
How about a CF awareness / Sib's and classmates with CF?
An educational day where CF young and old give REAL insight to their stories of success, and misfortune.
4groups:
group #1 ) Expecting mother/fathers....
group #2) Siblings with CF what its like ...
group #3) Graduate (HS) or College
group #4) families with CF, that have CF kids...
At park, scavenger hunt.. It will give a chance to Give Back ,and make a difference for others in lArger capacity... I just want to make it big. BIG big....need to ind that place.
Auction. getting y hands on items others would play a raffle for.....
It's time to really try.
I don't think I've tried hard enough. I don't think I have accomplished one thing. I've started a whole hell of a lot, and sometimes I get lucky everyone just so happens to forget where I left off. But in the grand scheme of it...I haven't finished a damn thing.
"when you want it so bad.... Put forth the effort, start with an inch."
Advice I have not applied myself towards.
It's great to see so many people i've known grow. It's comforting to see them do well. Makes me feel like that its' out there for us. For me. For who tries.
I give a damn. Thats the difference between. I truly give a damn. I have that at least. Knowing that, it does something for me...
Now I need to layout some ground for what I it is. With Questions and Answers....
How about a CF awareness / Sib's and classmates with CF?
An educational day where CF young and old give REAL insight to their stories of success, and misfortune.
4groups:
group #1 ) Expecting mother/fathers....
group #2) Siblings with CF what its like ...
group #3) Graduate (HS) or College
group #4) families with CF, that have CF kids...
At park, scavenger hunt.. It will give a chance to Give Back ,and make a difference for others in lArger capacity... I just want to make it big. BIG big....need to ind that place.
Auction. getting y hands on items others would play a raffle for.....
It's time to really try.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
weird wedding...
"We're gonna be late babes" ....she continues to straighten her hair with little regard for urgency.
"are you sure we weren't supposed to turn right back there?!? " more of a fact than a question...
"yes, yes babe..this is what the mapquest said..Just..I know , okay..Stop!"..she leans into her chair, and bites her lip.
The gravel road, and the scent of egg farms shimmy their way into the Corolla.
"oh my god..." we both cover our mouths, and swallow down the urge of vomit. She pulls out hand lotion to mask the stench.. Useless.
"you gotta be kiddin...." her voice stymies to a whisper as we pull up to the church. The place is surrounded by 1975 Ford Broncos, a collection of 1980's Camarro', rickety pickup trucks, and men, women, children, babies wearing only diapers..all sporting a version of a vintage mullet. And darting inches from getting hit by our car, a teen age boy running after his mutt. His rat tail in a french braid.
we pull in next to my fathers Nissan Ultima, and walk up to the "church". I say "church"..but it's really an old pizza shop, converted.
The doors are locked. And the wedding party congregates along the front yard. The piano lady is about 30 seconds from knocking on deaths door, as she puffs away at a cigarette...I found it fascinating she was still using her portable oxygen.
The sun beats down, but it's the humidity that's deadly. And we had to be like a rock throw away from a retention pond, judging by the amount of mosquitos....That smell of egg farm burning through our nostrils. I wanted to be sick.
What the hell is that noise? It sounds like aluminum cans being kicked across the street... And the noise grows closer.
And around the corner comes a black and grey spotted goat. He pushes his way through the congregation. Pellets dribble from his rear end. He stumbles along. He doesn't give a shit, and stands right in the center of the mass. Chomping away at the grass.... he doesn't flinch a lick at the swarm of flies and nats.
The church was unlocked, but after nearly 20 minutes of sitting in the old style movie theater seats, we all marched back outside to catch our breaths...at least there was a slight breeze. The piano lady stood like a smoke stack cradling near a rusted coffee can for her "butts"..it was propping open the screen door to the entrance.
45 minutes late to her own wedding, the bride and her mother pull up... The piano lady had to be related to the mother.
"well shit! Told ya'll she'd be here..damn. Lets get dis done..come on in ya'll! " and the groom grabbed his orange baseball cap, and galloped into the church.
We all followed...like cattle.
The service crawled along. Babies deafened my dad's words. He had been asked to "marry" the shotgun wedding...Being this was family, how could he decline. ( If he had found a way, he certainly would have ...found a way)
When it was about all i could bare...the chirping of Nextels, and the snoring of the old guy in the front...We were finally dismissed.
Never seen so much joy.
It didn't shock me the slight bit that not a single person knew what the plan was after the ceremony. We had received a message on our voicemail about the reception *(they didn't send out invitations to everyone because of the cost of postage...)
So gathering round the parking lot, trying to gain some hint of destination, I over hear the groom and his friend chatting away about the his new Chevy Belt Buckle.
"When ja get dat Billy?"
"well I got this from Susan fer the wedd'n"
"i'd give you this wedding ring for it Billy" said the groom..this is like not even 10 minutes after he put the damn thing on!
So as we begin to drive out of there, lots of people from the service decide they have better things to do then head to the reception. God, i know I did... we were going anyhow,
At the wedding, the bride is told how Lovely she looks in her dress
"oh, this! I got it for 25 dollars at the second hand store! Isn't that amazing! It fits me like a glove"
Why on earth would someone be inclined to tell someone they got their wedding dress from a second hand store for 25 dolllars, on their wedding day? Wouldn't a "thank you..I really appreciate you coming today" been sufficient?!
The center pieces are those tissue paper cards that open up, and say "celebrate". Their is a "here comes the bride" banner taped to the wallpaper above the head "card table".... The bride and groom are no longer present because they had t ogo back home to the mobile home park 30 minutes away to get the marriage certificate for my dad to sign. They didn't know it was needed to legalize the marriage.
The "dj" is a best of Hall and Oats album.... played over and over and over...all 12 tracks.
The cake is a carrot cake roll..melting in the heat. And the bride strangling the groom statue begins to slide towards one side of the cake.....
Once they arrived, they stuck around about 20 minutes, before their hormones (the same ones that were the root cause of the 6 month belly she was trying to loose in her dress) became to much to handle.. So they went into the bathroom and made love. We know this because the bathroom is not sound proof the least little bit. So after about ten minutes of awkward conversation to mask the noise echoing from the stalls... we say goodbye to the bride and groom as they prance out the front door.
"this will be the ONLY TIME, and the LAST time I ever open the door for you women" shouts the groom as he slams the door to the T-bird.
"Please take one of the goldfish at your tables' home withcha all when you go...they cost us like 80 cents a fish..thanks guys"
A few tables had fish bowls in the center.... we already discussed what we were going to do. We were leaving the fish. Besides the fish at our table was eaten by some 30 year old guy in a bet while we were being seated...so it didn't matter anyhow.
He throws his can of keystone into the air, and we all watch it explode as it hits the pavement.. They speed away.
LOVE.
"are you sure we weren't supposed to turn right back there?!? " more of a fact than a question...
"yes, yes babe..this is what the mapquest said..Just..I know , okay..Stop!"..she leans into her chair, and bites her lip.
The gravel road, and the scent of egg farms shimmy their way into the Corolla.
"oh my god..." we both cover our mouths, and swallow down the urge of vomit. She pulls out hand lotion to mask the stench.. Useless.
"you gotta be kiddin...." her voice stymies to a whisper as we pull up to the church. The place is surrounded by 1975 Ford Broncos, a collection of 1980's Camarro', rickety pickup trucks, and men, women, children, babies wearing only diapers..all sporting a version of a vintage mullet. And darting inches from getting hit by our car, a teen age boy running after his mutt. His rat tail in a french braid.
we pull in next to my fathers Nissan Ultima, and walk up to the "church". I say "church"..but it's really an old pizza shop, converted.
The doors are locked. And the wedding party congregates along the front yard. The piano lady is about 30 seconds from knocking on deaths door, as she puffs away at a cigarette...I found it fascinating she was still using her portable oxygen.
The sun beats down, but it's the humidity that's deadly. And we had to be like a rock throw away from a retention pond, judging by the amount of mosquitos....That smell of egg farm burning through our nostrils. I wanted to be sick.
What the hell is that noise? It sounds like aluminum cans being kicked across the street... And the noise grows closer.
And around the corner comes a black and grey spotted goat. He pushes his way through the congregation. Pellets dribble from his rear end. He stumbles along. He doesn't give a shit, and stands right in the center of the mass. Chomping away at the grass.... he doesn't flinch a lick at the swarm of flies and nats.
The church was unlocked, but after nearly 20 minutes of sitting in the old style movie theater seats, we all marched back outside to catch our breaths...at least there was a slight breeze. The piano lady stood like a smoke stack cradling near a rusted coffee can for her "butts"..it was propping open the screen door to the entrance.
45 minutes late to her own wedding, the bride and her mother pull up... The piano lady had to be related to the mother.
"well shit! Told ya'll she'd be here..damn. Lets get dis done..come on in ya'll! " and the groom grabbed his orange baseball cap, and galloped into the church.
We all followed...like cattle.
The service crawled along. Babies deafened my dad's words. He had been asked to "marry" the shotgun wedding...Being this was family, how could he decline. ( If he had found a way, he certainly would have ...found a way)
When it was about all i could bare...the chirping of Nextels, and the snoring of the old guy in the front...We were finally dismissed.
Never seen so much joy.
It didn't shock me the slight bit that not a single person knew what the plan was after the ceremony. We had received a message on our voicemail about the reception *(they didn't send out invitations to everyone because of the cost of postage...)
So gathering round the parking lot, trying to gain some hint of destination, I over hear the groom and his friend chatting away about the his new Chevy Belt Buckle.
"When ja get dat Billy?"
"well I got this from Susan fer the wedd'n"
"i'd give you this wedding ring for it Billy" said the groom..this is like not even 10 minutes after he put the damn thing on!
So as we begin to drive out of there, lots of people from the service decide they have better things to do then head to the reception. God, i know I did... we were going anyhow,
At the wedding, the bride is told how Lovely she looks in her dress
"oh, this! I got it for 25 dollars at the second hand store! Isn't that amazing! It fits me like a glove"
Why on earth would someone be inclined to tell someone they got their wedding dress from a second hand store for 25 dolllars, on their wedding day? Wouldn't a "thank you..I really appreciate you coming today" been sufficient?!
The center pieces are those tissue paper cards that open up, and say "celebrate". Their is a "here comes the bride" banner taped to the wallpaper above the head "card table".... The bride and groom are no longer present because they had t ogo back home to the mobile home park 30 minutes away to get the marriage certificate for my dad to sign. They didn't know it was needed to legalize the marriage.
The "dj" is a best of Hall and Oats album.... played over and over and over...all 12 tracks.
The cake is a carrot cake roll..melting in the heat. And the bride strangling the groom statue begins to slide towards one side of the cake.....
Once they arrived, they stuck around about 20 minutes, before their hormones (the same ones that were the root cause of the 6 month belly she was trying to loose in her dress) became to much to handle.. So they went into the bathroom and made love. We know this because the bathroom is not sound proof the least little bit. So after about ten minutes of awkward conversation to mask the noise echoing from the stalls... we say goodbye to the bride and groom as they prance out the front door.
"this will be the ONLY TIME, and the LAST time I ever open the door for you women" shouts the groom as he slams the door to the T-bird.
"Please take one of the goldfish at your tables' home withcha all when you go...they cost us like 80 cents a fish..thanks guys"
A few tables had fish bowls in the center.... we already discussed what we were going to do. We were leaving the fish. Besides the fish at our table was eaten by some 30 year old guy in a bet while we were being seated...so it didn't matter anyhow.
He throws his can of keystone into the air, and we all watch it explode as it hits the pavement.. They speed away.
LOVE.
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