the are nots

I learn-ed today. I learn the "aren't", and those that are.
I found a new perspective. Inherent goodness does not reside in the heart.

Not in mine, and not in yours.

They're far and few that try to make it due. So, when I do, only smoke blows into my chest ache.
I learn-ed today. Those aren't's are not what I pegged dem are's to be.

And the are's I thought are not.
I am jaded, I hurt.

Why aren't we better being at minded being's, and instead so good at being absent minded? Heartless, unless a beneficent.

Disenchanted by my surrounding forever-longer..my grin at grit, has relocated. Located where "thou are's go".

I learn-ed today that a front disguise and masker-aide which goes about gallivanting around is deception, and the only true truth.

I think it is time I need a new skin, because this one I sit in is beginning to itch. It itches to be counted on.
But, I'll be forced to sit this one out "Scout".

I watch the game play from the benches. Clear and cut clean. I lost the score five minutes ago. The are's and aren'ts play. Scout sits.

I want to stop the hurt - I want a voice that does not shake. When opening my mouth, so dry, only whispers and winces as the cracks in my lips, and the salt in my watering eyes mount.
That is all I can count on these days.

That is what I have learned. The pain. The shade. This corner. This vacancy... I know this are. What I am. Aren't I entitled to a clue less vague?