I wake up to clamoring sounds I remember. While the dark night stirs a lonely silence..
I focus on the noises, or I can't sleep. My toes feel the inches of rising rain...
What I've become, frightens me. I'm not who I parade around as. I am only a shell of where I began.
So, I choose to stay away. Away from the eyes I know. Away from those who could undress this blanket.
Loosing seems to be the only thing I feel. Love something, and I loose more.
Care and I hurt deeper. Try, and I push further. All the while, I'm still right here.
I wish we had a way to start this over. I wish I knew a way to stay away. So that I didn't hurt from the gut, up. My heart aches. My feet sink without pressing. The water is waste deep now.
She said. He said. They said. I said. All broken pieces across the floor. The record plays.
It hits my neck. I wish'd I choke. Not this time. Not the case.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow is now yesterday, and I tread. But my body is so tired.
I hear the door open. I hear children's feet. I hear voices. I hear dogs sleeping. I feel a shutter next to me.
My eyes open suddenly... It's still dark. And the noises go away. Sleep. But I can't.
And I know...the noises...they do.
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